educate equip enable
I figured this might grab your attention.
I also figured that your first response might be something like: "Whaat? Testicles? He used the "T" word! What's an article on testicles doing on a website devoted to providing Christian resources?"
Good question, and I'm glad you asked that.
The main reason we're talking about testicles is because of what they do. Let's face it, if you didn't have them, your life would be very different. Unless, of course, you're a woman who's gatecrashing our exclusive little party.
One of the main functions of testicles is to produce the male hormone testosterone. In fact, most of a man's testosterone is produced by his testicles. And so this brings us to what I really want to talk about - how testosterone affects us men.
Yes, I'm sorry guys. I lured you into this trap by using the "T" word. But please try to stay tuned. You might learn something that will help you.
It's kind of funny that we call testosterone the male hormone. In actual fact, women produce testosterone in their bodies too. But the reality is that, according to that great fount of information, Wikipedia, the average man has around 40 to 60 times as much testosterone as the average woman.
That's a lot of testosterone!
So what does testosterone do? Well, it begins its work in the womb and continues to affect us throughout life. It masculinises the brain, brings body and facial hair, deepens the voice, and increases muscle mass, to name just a few of its effects.
But the thing we're interested in here is that it's also responsible for our libido. Libido is our sex drive. Testosterone is what produces sex drive in both men and women.
Now, just pause for a moment. Because I want that last little thought to sink into your brain and lodge there.
Okay, time's up! Here's a question for you: If the sex drive of both men and women is produced by testosterone, and the average man has 40 to 60 times as much testosterone as the average woman, what are the repercussions of that fact?
Interesting question, yes?
It means that a man's sex drive is much stronger than a woman's. The fact that your wife doesn't want sex all the time like you do, or isn't quick to fire up like you are, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with her. She's not frigid, or weird. She's just normal. For a woman, anyway.
If you wanted a wife whose sex drive was as powerful as yours, you should have married a girl with a moustache!
Are there any women out there that want sex as much as a man? Probably. But remember, we're talking about average men and average women. So there's probably the occasional woman who wants sex as much as some men do, just like there will be the occasional woman who is stronger than the occasional man.
But that's not the norm.
I know, you're probably thinking, "Where is this mythical creature, the woman who wants sex as much as a man?" But please, I know it's hard, but try not to get side-tracked.
So, the upshot of this is that we shouldn't pressure our wives unreasonably. Instead, the Bible tells us to live with our wives with understanding. (1 Peter 3:7)
Naturally, for a marriage to be healthy, this is a give and take kind of deal. A man shouldn't get it all his way, but neither should his wife get it all her way. Husbands and wives should work out an acceptable compromise together, so that neither is placed under undue pressure, and neither feels used or neglected.
If you work within this framework, your life will be a lot easier. Happy wife, happy life!
Now, you may be wondering why God created men and women with such a huge gap in sexual drive. Didn't He know that it would lead to problems?
Well, here's something for you to think about. Imagine if God had created us all with the (comparatively) low sex drive of your average woman. How far would the human race have come? Not very far. In fact, it probably would have died out with Adam and Eve.
I imagine Eve looking at Adam and asking, "Wanna have sex?" Adam replies, "Nah, not really. Don't feel like it." "Me neither," says Eve.
But what if God had created us all with the sex drive of your average man? What would have happened then? Probably nothing much else besides you-know-what!
The human race would probably still have died out in the Garden of Eden. Not from lack of procreation. They'd probably have starved to death.
In this scenario, I imagine Adam saying to Eve, "Wanna take a walk and pick some fruit?" "Not really," she replies. "Yeah, same here. Let's just stay in bed." "Good idea."
In fact, I think that God gave us different sex drives to keep a balance. Of course it can lead to misunderstandings, but that just means we have to take up the challenge of growing in wisdom, self-control, and genuine sacrificial love.