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Sermon Illustrations: Work


Many employers motivate their employees with bonuses. Others offer gyms and a few even provide day care. Our company has gone a step further with a sign that reads: "Employee Incentive Plan. Work or Get Fired!" Susan Rhea

A man went to his doctor and asked for a certificate for time off work. His doctor said, "You're just plain lazy." "Give me a medical name, because I have to report back to my wife."

I remember when I was teaching piano, I listened to one little kid, and he was bad. We're talking primary school here, so it's not exactly Mozart. I said, "You been practising?" (wide-eyed) "Yeah." "Are you sure." "Yeah." "How much practice have you been doing?" "I've played this song three times every day." "Really. Okay, play it for me." And I timed the song. When he'd finished, I said, "You played this three times every day, and that's all your practice?" "Yes." "Do you know how long this song is?" "No." "Thirty-five seconds." "Three times through means you practised 1 min and 45 seconds a day. Do you really think you're going to get better with 1 min and 45 seconds a day?"

In 1987, when Pope John Paul II went to Miami, one man thought he'd make some money by selling T-shirts with the phrase "I saw the Pope" in Spanish. But instead of saying el Papa (which means the Pope), he said la Papa which meant that the T-shirt said, "I saw the Potato."


My Collection of Jokes, Quotes & Anecdotes

The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Bach, Beethoven, Wagner and Mozart settled down day after day to the job with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day in his figures. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration. Ernest Newman.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

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Please note that all Scripture quotations, unless otherwise stated, are taken from the New King James Version ®.
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