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Sermon Illustrations: Evolution


A little boy asked his grandfather, “Did God create you, granddad?” “Yes, he replied. “A long time ago.” The boy thought about this for a while, then he asked, “Did God create me too?” “Yes,” replied granddad. “It was only a little while ago.” “Well,” said the little boy, “He's been doing a lot better work lately.”

The Monkeys' Viewpoint: Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree, Discussing things as they're said to be; Said one to the others: "Now listen you two. There's a certain rumour that can't be true, That man descends from our noble race. The very idea is a disgrace; No monkey ever deserted his wife, Starved her babies and ruined her life, And you've never known a mother monk, To leave her babies with others to bunk, Or pass them on from one to another, Till they scarcely know who is their mother. And another thing you'll never see... A monk build a fence round a coconut tree, And let the coconuts go to waste; Forbidding all other monks a taste; Why, if I'd put a fence around the tree, Starvation would force you to steal from me. Here's another thing a monk won't do - Go out all night and get on the stew, Or use a gun or club or knife, To take some other monkey's life. Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss, But brother, he didn't descend from us." Anonymous.

A zookeeper saw a monkey in a cage with a Bible in one hand and a book on evolution in the other. He asked what the monkey was doing. "I'm trying to find out: Am I my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother?"

A little girl asked her Dad how the human race came about. "That's easy", he said. "God created Adam and Eve, they had children, and that's how the human race came about." A couple of days later, she asked her mother the same question. "Simple", her mother said. "A long time ago, there were ape-men, and we evolved from them." The girl was confused, so she went back to her Dad and asked him, "How come you said we were created by God, but Mum said we evolved from ape-men?" Her father said, "That's because I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers."

My Collection of Jokes, Quotes & Anecdotes

Back in 1925, an evolutionist stated at the Tennessee Scopes Trial, that there were no less than 180 vestigial structures in the human body. They believed that all of those structures no longer served a useful purpose, but were leftovers of the evolutionary process. Today we know better. That list has shrunk to almost zero. Even the mysterious appendix is now known to help produce antibodies and prevent bacteria in the colon reaching the blood stream.


It is not that the methods and institutions of science somehow compel us to accept a material explanation of the phenomenal world but, on the contrary, that we are forced by our a priori adherence to material causes to create an apparatus of investigation and a set of concepts that produce material explanations, no matter how counter-intuitive, no matter how mystifying to the uninitiated. Dr Richard Lewontin, Evolutionary Geneticist, Harvard University

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