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Sermon Illustrations: Bible (See also Scripture or God's Word)


A converted cannibal on a South Sea island was sitting by a large pot reading his Bible. An anthropologist saw him and was curious as to what he was doing. He approached the native and said, "What are you doing?" The ex-cannibal replied, "I'm reading the Bible." The anthropologist then said, "Don't you know that modern man has rejected that book?" The cannibal looked him over and said, "Sir, if it weren't for this book, you'd be in that pot."

A little boy asked his friend, "Why does your grandmother study the Bible so much?" "I'm not sure," he replied. "I think she's studying for her finals."

Bible interpretation, like a lot of things, depends a lot on context. For instance, take the time that my wife, Alli, called out to me, "Can I make one more call, darling?" Anyone hearing this might have assumed that I was an ogre, and that she had to have my permission to use the telephone. But earlier, I had told her I needed the phone after she had made a call. After her call, she had decided that she needed to make another, so she was checking with me. Taking something out of context always gives the wrong impression.


My Collection of Jokes, Quotes & Anecdotes

The Bible is like a spiritual mobile phone: it only works when it's open.

My best friends are in the Bible. Wayne Cordeiro

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Please note that all Scripture quotations, unless otherwise stated, are taken from the New King James Version ®.
© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.