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Sermon Illustrations: Atheism


An atheist was shipwrecked. Out alone in the middle of the ocean, he looked up to heaven and prayed, "God, I've never bothered you before. Spare me now and I'll never bother you again."

Three atheists were trying to bother a Baptist pastor. "I think I'll move to Nevada, only 25% of the people are Baptists," said the first. "No, I think I would rather live in Colorado," said the second. "Only 10% of the people are Baptists." "Better yet," said the third, "is New Mexico; only 5% there are Baptists." "I think the best place for you all is in Hades," said the pastor. "There are no Baptists there at all."

A couple of American non-believers decided to steer clear of Biblical names for their new baby daughter. Apparently, George and Tina Rollason, of York, Pennsylvania, have named little girl Atheist Evolution."

A number of years ago the leader of a London rescue mission was challenged to debate a well-known sceptic. He accepted the challenge on one condition: He would bring with him a hundred people who would testify as to how believing in Jesus had changed their lives for the better. He then invited his challenger to bring with him those who could attest to the benefits of not believing at all. On the day appointed the believer came ready with his hundred, but the sceptic didn't even turn up. Source Unknown

Dial-A-Prayer for atheists: they call the number, it rings, but nobody answers.

My Collection of Jokes, Quotes & Anecdotes

An atheist was walking in the forest enjoying the fact that he had ruined many Christian meetings and generally had been a great nuisance to the church, when he heard a noise behind him. Looking round, he saw a large bear. He was terrified and ran looking for a tree to climb, but no matter how fast he ran, the bear ran even faster. Suddenly, the man fell over a tree stump just as the bear reached him. Desperately, he cried out to God for help. "So now you want My help," God said. "Does this mean that you want to believe and become a Christian?" "No, no," the man replied. "Not me. Turn the bear into a Christian." And so God answered the atheist's prayer, and just as the bear was about to tear the man to pieces, he stopped. The man heaved a great sigh of relief. Then the bear raised his eyes to heaven and said, "Lord, for the meal I am about to eat I give You thanks. Amen."


There are no Christians, as far as I know, blowing up buildings. I am not aware of any Christian suicide bombers. I am not aware of any major Christian denomination that believes the penalty for apostasy is death. I have mixed feelings about the decline of Christianity, in so far as Christianity might be a bulwark against something worse. Richard Dawkins

If God exists then the future is determined and I am not free; I am free; therefore, God does not exist. Jean Paul Sartre, French existentialist

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.1

The Christian God is a being of terrific character - cruel, vindictive, capricious and unjust. Thomas Jefferson

Atheism is a blind faith religion in which the devotees give everything and receive nothing.

Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man. Thomas Jefferson

In real life, a great many reports of unconventional phenomena are the results of deviations from the truth, either deliberate or unconscious. And I am sick and tired of mysteries that end up with some indication that perhaps, after all, something supernatural really did happen. As far as I am concerned, if, when everything impossible has been eliminated and what remains is supernatural, then someone is lying. If that be treason, make the most of it.2

No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more miraculous than the fact which it endeavours to establish. David Hume, Scottish philosopher

What makes my jaw drop is that people today should base their lives on such an appalling role model as Yahweh - and, even worse, that they should bossily try to force the same evil monster (whether fact or fiction) on the rest of us.3

Though science may explain the world, we still have to explain science. The laws which enable the universe to come into being spontaneously seem themselves to be the product of exceedingly ingenious design. If physics is the product of design, the universe must have a purpose, and the evidence of modern physics suggests strongly to me that the purpose includes us. Paul Davies Superforce.

There are no atheists in hell. (or on the front line).

Atheist: a man with no invisible means of support.

For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries. Robert Jastrow, world renowned astronomer and agnostic

1 Dawkins, Richard The God Delusion p31
2 Asimov, Isaac The Return of the Black Widowers (Afterword to a short story entitled The Obvious Factor) p69-70
3 Dawkins, Richard, The God Delusion p248

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