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Sermon Illustrations: Work

Many employers motivate their employees with bonuses. Others offer gyms and a few even provide day care. Our company has gone a step further with a sign that reads: "Employee Incentive Plan. Work or Get Fired!" Susan Rhea

A man went to his doctor and asked for a certificate for time off work. His doctor said, "You're just plain lazy." "Give me a medical name, because I have to report back to my wife."

I remember when I was teaching piano, I listened to one little kid, and he was bad. We're talking primary school here, so it's not exactly Mozart. I said, "You been practising?" (wide-eyed) "Yeah." "Are you sure." "Yeah." "How much practice have you been doing?" "I've played this song three times every day." "Really. Okay, play it for me." And I timed the song. When he'd finished, I said, "You played this three times every day, and that's all your practice?" "Yes." "Do you know how long this song is?" "No." "Thirty-five seconds." "Three times through means you practised 1 min and 45 seconds a day. Do you really think you're going to get better with 1 min and 45 seconds a day?"

In 1987, when Pope John Paul II went to Miami, one man thought he'd make some money by selling T-shirts with the phrase "I saw the Pope" in Spanish. But instead of saying el Papa (which means the Pope), he said la Papa which meant that the T-shirt said, "I saw the Potato."

The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Bach, Beethoven, Wagner and Mozart settled down day after day to the job with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day in his figures. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration. Ernest Newman.

When a motivational products company interviewed Tim Dumler by phone for a sales job, he told them his goal was to become their number one employee. After meeting him in person they were shocked to discover he was legally blind. But he promised he'd buy a machine that magnifies letters. So, despite serious misgivings, they hired him. And it's a good thing they did. He came in early, worked late, and within six years became their top producer. His clients loved him because when you're blind you become a great listener. And his associates loved him because of his caring, positive attitude. He said, "It's unfortunate that I'm visually impaired but adversity made me a better person. I have a lot more than I don't have." Tim has the 100-degree attitude! What's the 100-degree attitude? Motivational speaker Mack Anderson explains: At 99 degrees Celsius water is hot. At 100 degrees it boils. With boiling water comes steam. And steam can power a train. One extra degree makes all the difference in business and in life; it separates the good from the great." Word for Today 18-9-08

Unusual jobs: More than 8700 workers have listed the most unconventional jobs they've ever held in a survey on careerbuilder.com. Top picks are: autopsy assistant, bartender at the Liberace mansion, cat nanny, donkey trainer, elf at Santa's workshop, FBI fingerprint examiner, grave digger, hurricane hunter, ice sculpture carver, junk mail machine operator, kitty litter box decorator, laser tag referee, magician's assistant, nuclear electrician on a submarine, opera singer, parachute tester, quality control taster for a chocolate factory, romance specialist, scratcher (scratching backs of patients), turkey wrangler, undercover vice decoy, video game tester, wallpaper peeler, x-ray technician for zoo animals, yawn counter at a sleep clinic, Zamboni (ice resurfacer) driver. Reader's Digest December, 2008, p 18

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

Research conducted by a leading compensation technology firm found that among employees planning to leave their companies, a majority felt they were underpaid. Fewer than 20 percent of them, however, were receiving less than the industry standard for their duties. Bill Coleman, of Salary.com, believes that many unhappy workers are overtitled rather than underpaid. Some companies give employees lofty titles even though their job responsibilities have not increased. In time, employees feel they deserve more money than their actual duties merit. "When it comes to salary," Coleman says, "it's what you do, not what you're called, that counts." Our Daily Bread, September 1, 2008