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Sermon Illustrations: Tradition

A Kiwi went into a fish and chip shop and said, "$5 worth of fush and chups please." "You're a Kiwi, mate." "Yeah, how'd you know?" "It's the accent, mate. Gives you away every time." He went home and practised saying, "Fish and chips". A month later he went back to the fish and chip shop and said, "$5 worth of fush and chups please." "You're a Kiwi, mate." "Yeah, how'd you know?" "It's the accent, mate. Gives you away every time." He went home and practised again. Even got lessons off Pauline Hanson. A month later he went back to the fish and chip shop and said, "$5 worth of fish and chips please." "You're a Kiwi, mate." "Yeah, how'd you know?" "The fish and chip shop closed three weeks ago. This is a stationery store."

A guard faithfully stood each day at his post. One day, a visitor inquired why he was standing in that exact spot. The guard scratched his head and replied, "I don't know. These are my orders." So the visitor asked the captain of the guard. Again, he received the reply, "I don't know. These are my orders." So the captain asked the king why the sentry was posted in that place, but even the king could not answer. So the king asked his advisors. A hundred years earlier, Catherine the Great planted a rosebush there and the sentry was posted to guard it. Although the rosebush had died eighty years earlier and Catherine the Great was long gone, the sentry still stood guard. Isn't it true that the church sometimes sets something in place, which originally serves a good purpose, and a couple of centuries later, we're still doing it, and nobody even knows the reason why? It's past its use-by date.

The seven last words of the church are, "We've never done it that way before." Ralph Neighbour

If ancient custom is followed, the Chamberlain will tap the dead pope with a silver hammer and ask: "Are you there?" after a doctor has pronounced John Paul dead. Only then can death be officially recognised. Sunday Mail 3-4-05 p4