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Sermon Illustrations: Politics & Politicians

What do you call ten MPs at the bottom of the Suez Canal? A start.

I'm a politician and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want. US politician Charles Peacock

A politician flying from Brisbane to Cairns, drew out $50 and said, "I'm going to make somebody very happy. I'm going to throw this $50 out the window, and whoever finds it will be very happy." Someone said, "Why don't you change it into ten $5 notes and make ten people happy?" While he was considering this, a member of the opposition said from the other side of the plane, "Why don't you make everybody happy, and throw yourself out?"

Employment ad for politicians in heaven: Wanted, blokes to rule heaven, must be able to vote own pay rises, call each other names, pass useless laws, no experience necessary.

Washington was a Freemason and a deist; no one knew what he truly believed. Jefferson read the Bible every day - even wrote his own version - but that was because he wanted to cut out all the miraculous parts, including the Resurrection. Lincoln worshipped faithfully but never joined a church … And it was Bill Clinton, viewed by his foes as the devil's disciple, of whom Billy Graham said in 1996, "He believes the Bible. He believes in Christ. He believes that he has been born again. He's got all the gifts an evangelist should have." Time 21-6-04 p 18