A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z

Sermon Illustrations: Men

Asked by Spike TV to choose how they measure success, only 3% of men said through their work, while 31% said they did so through their faith in God, 26% through being the best person possible, 22% through their network of family and friends, and 17% through maintaining a balance between home and work. Time 23-8-04 p 41

23% of men want sex every day, compared to only 8% of women. Reader's Digest April 2005 p 18

In later life, women can speak 20,000 to 25,000 words a day compared to a man's 7,000 to 10,000. Reader's Digest April 2005 p 18

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for a man than for a woman? Because when it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Reader's Digest September 2005 p 70

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck Reader's Digest November 2005 p 37

Research has shown that men usually sleep on the right side of the bed. Even in their sleep they have to be right. Reader's Digest January 2006 p35

Men are twice as likely as women to forget their partner's birthday. Reader's Digest May 2006 p 18

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "COW!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen. North Lakes Messenger 24-7-06 p6

A man went to a counsellor for advice. His marriage was really bad and he wanted out, but he wanted to hurt his wife as much as possible. The counsellor thought for a while, then said, "I have an idea. This is the way to really hurt her. For the next three months, treat her like a princess. Love her, bring her flowers, buy her gifts, take her out to dinner, do some of the housework. Treat her like she's the most wonderful woman in the world. Then suddenly, you just leave. That'll really kill her." So he did. A few months later the counsellor saw the man walking and said, "So how's bachelor life treating you." "What do you mean?" "You know. How'd it go when you dumped your wife?" "You've got to be kidding. I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world."

The chances of a family attending church if a child is converted is 3.5%. If the mother is converted, it's 17%. If the father is converted, it's 93%.