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Sermon Illustrations: Aged and Aging

When Henry Ford, on his 75th birthday, was asked when he planned to retire, he said, "I haven't given a bit of thought to it. I'm going to stay around as long as I can be of use; and I want to be of use as long as I stay around."

Sir Christopher Wren, who built St Paul's Cathedral in London in the 17th century, served as professor of astronomy at Graham College and Oxford, then around the half-century mark, entered enthusiastically upon a new profession; he turned architect. In the 41 years after his 48th birthday he executed 53 churches and cathedrals, most of which still stand today.

Vanderbilt at 80 added more than $100 million to his fortune. Wordsworth earned the laureateship at 73. Thiers, at 73, established the French Republic and became the first president. Verdi wrote Falstaff at 80. Gladstone became prime minister of England for the fourth time at 83. Stradivari made his first violin after 60. Sir Walter Scott was $600,000 in debt at 55, but through his own efforts paid this amount in full.

There's a saying that describes an old person who is still enthusiastic: Nobody likes to see an old barn, but everyone loves to see an old barn burn.

One little girl said to another, "Why does your grandmother study the Bible so much?" "I'm not sure," came the reply. "I think she's studying for her finals."

A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman asked her, "What is the best thing about being 104?" "No peer pressure," she replied.

Ignoring the concerns of friends and family that she's too old to cope, a 70-year-old woman uses fertility treatment to give birth to a baby boy. After she leaves the hospital, her relatives drop by. "Let's have a look at him then," they say. "Not yet," the 70-year-old replies. Assuming the baby must be asleep the relatives wait an hour and then ask again, "Can we see him now?" "Not yet," the pensioner replies. Two hours pass. "Surely we can see him now?" the relatives ask. "No," says the woman. "So when can we see your baby son?" exclaim the relatives, growing suspicious. "When he cries," replies the woman. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?" the relatives want to know. "Because I've forgotten where I put him," admits the woman. Readers Digest, September, 2005, p 70

A young man asked an old man, "What's it like to be really old." "Fantastic," said the old man. Another old man overheard this and said, "He must have had a terrible youth."

Aged Benefits: If ever held hostage you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run into a burning building. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. You can eat dinner at 4:00. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won't wear out. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You can party and the neighbours don't even realise it. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Your back goes out more than you do. Your eyes won't get much worse. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali

A man asked his 93-year-old uncle, "What is the secret of your longevity?" "I don't know," replied the uncle. "I wish I knew, so I could stop it."

An elderly woman asked her husband to get her some fruit salad and ice-cream and so he went to get it for her. Ten minutes later he returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. "Oh, George you silly old goat, you always forget," she said. "What Edna? What did I forget this time?" George replied. "The toast, you forgot the toast," Edna answered.

Advancing years have enabled me to discover:-that I started out with nothing and still have most of it; now I have my head together but my body is falling apart; I don't remember being absent-minded; if God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. Jeanette Bowden